A woman is
like a tea bag
– you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her into hot
water ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
A little
while ago – it has been over a year now – a good friend of mine founded the “Lean
in” Circle Düsseldorf. I have written about “Lean In”, it is a book by Sheryl
Sandberg, COO of facebook, in which she describes the pitfalls for women in the
workplace and the reasons women often don’t make it to top positions in
companies. Instead of only blaming the patriarchic system of our society,
Sheryl shows that a lot of reasons for the way the world is what it is today
lie in our behavior as women. And it is true. I have read the book and I don’t
know how many times I nodded and thought “True, this is exactly what I do.” By
reflecting, I slowly realized how often I turn myself into the inferior at the
workplace.
Furthermore I have always been someone who preferred to work with
men instead of women. Why is that? I used to have a horrible female boss, but
have gotten along fine with all the male bosses in my life, which led me to the
conclusion that I didn’t want to have a woman as a boss again. Utter stupidity.
Plus, I now understand my former boss much better and regret how I used to
judge her.
Women in
the workplace (or wherever, even on the streets) judge each other. All the
time. I am no exception. Either I feel superior – by the way I talk / dress / even about the stuff I shop at the grocery store compared to other women – or I
feel insecure by the way the other women talk / dress / buy great
stuff - and then I feel an even bigger
distance between us. “Lean In” opened my eyes here. If we do not work together
as women and appreciate one another, how will we ever change society and make
it more equal? It shook me to the core and made me see a lot of conflicts and
insecurity around me in a different light.
While I was
at university I had the feeling that there was no gender gap that would concern
me. Naïve as I was I saw the female professors, leading our department, being
just as powerful as the men, never thinking about the fact that, e.g. all of
the secretaries were women. Once I was out in the business world, I started to
feel that something was not right. Men, even my superiors in the jobs, could make
sexist comments and it seemed to be tolerated by everyone. It felt very much
1960s to me. Disillusioning.
I am deeply
grateful for the change my friend Amanda brought into my life and actually the
life of all of the women who have joined the Düsseldorf Circle. We meet on a
pretty regular basis and the appreciating atmosphere, the sharing and the feel
of support for each other can be uplifting and make me feel quite powerful. It feels like this could be the beginning of something new and
important and although I am often tired when I go to the events in the evening,
I always take so much out of them that it is worth the effort every single
time.
We are
covering topics from as broad as happiness to as narrow as attentive listening.
It’s all in there. And all of the women attending have their own special
skills, ready to share them and to learn from one another. It feels a little
bit magical. Even if this sounds weird to you, you should go and try to join a Circle in
your city and who knows, maybe you will have the same amazing experience. Maybe
you won’t. And you know what? This would still be ok.
And it is awesome that it is ok…
Listen to
Sheryl Sandberg in her owns words here
